evalangui: (perversion no es lo que tengo)

So I kind of wrote a song about House M.D. newest and shiniest episode, “Wilson”(6.09), I’m sure it’ll make sense as a generic love song too but… It has a melody (I might upload my singing later, I'm told is priceless, as in, so bad you'll cry from laugher) and it probably needs a beta but I didn’t want to impose so take it upon yourself if you feel like it.

The person you want when you are dying

The person you want when you are living

The person who wakes you up singing

The one who’s always there when it matters
And it’s also the one you want to be around

To watch bad tv, and to eat cheap food and

Also the one you wanna kiss and make up with

After another stupid fight about space in the fridge



The person you want when you’re dying

Is also the one you want by your side when

Things are hard and others are failing to be

What they promised in important ceremonies.



The person you want gets you, thestupid mistakes

You do time and time again, the way you can’t help

Wanting to help and how you will never be able to say

All that’s inside because it’s not all good

The person you want knows what it is but will not stop

demanding you be the best person you can…



The person you want doesn’t say it out loud

But they want you too, they show you everyday

Stealing your food, stalking you for your own good

The person you want will lend you their couch

Time and time again and watch you fuck up and

Say I told you so but always stay to clean up the mess

And let you see how painful it’ll be if they had to live

Without you, and even admit that nobody else will do

The person you want can’t let any others take you away

And sometimes it does seem like it’s too much

But that’s what happens when the person you want

When you’re dying is the person you want

when you’re living as well


(And this part, which I don't like that much:)
The person you want doesn’t ask for permission

in health and in sickness they always take everything

because they need it too much to pretend,

for even a moment, that they might not get to have you

and you give them everything, more than you have…

and then you regret it because they don’t get they don’t

need to ask for your heart and your mind and your soul



Also, watched Merlin 2x10 ("Sweet Dreams") and an old king who was plotting to cause war commented very angrily: "all the other women in the kingdom are falling all over that boy, I'm almost attracted to him myself" I think it's the show's first direct and undeniable gay reference, I wonder if it spells good things to come, i mean, surely the writers don't need to remind anybody that Arthur's hot.





evalangui: (Default)

Title: What is and What Could Be

Author: Evalangui

Characters & Pairings: Genfic about Sam, Dean, Mary and a bit of John. Except last excerpt which is also non-graphic Sam/Dean slash.

Category: Alternate Universes

Warnings/Enticements: Incest, AU, genderfuck in the form of Girl!Dean.

Rating: Pg-13.

Spoilers: 4x03 “In the Beginning” (I mean the fact that Mary and her parents were hunters, not her deal with Yellow-Eyes because with Dean’s warning and the knowledge of the YED’s return and what her interruption could cause I would have to believe Mary was a complete retard to enter the nursery and since Mary is the only female character in Supernatural who is not a victim, a slut or a evil I’d rather refrain.)

Length: 8987 words.

Summary: A number of things that never happened to the Winchester family but that could have.

Disclaimer: Transformative work. 

 

What is and What Could Be

Evalangui

 

Read more... )

evalangui: (Karma)
This is a short-story one character tells his kid cousin in one of those novels I don't think I will ever finish [edit 05.2010: actually, I finished the first draft of "Lovers But Not In Love" in April 2009. Later I might even revise it again.] The story if funnier, I think, if you know the dog is my youngest sister (Sharon --> Shay -> Shasha --> Iaya), the princess the second youngest (Haguit) and the prince the third youngest (so, the second oldest, with whom we all have a pretty vindictive relationship). Iaya (i.e. Sharon) wasn't very happy about being a dog but the character the story is being told to (Mimi) has our cousin's name but it's mostly based in Sharon's own sweetest and dorkiest moments so I feel I have made it up to her. 995 words.

****
Communication is Key
******

Playtime with Dragons... )

 

evalangui: (Default)
Logically, dearly
 
 
You are smart enough that you should know it now. She’s your friend but you fight almost constantly, often is just banter but sometimes (too many times) is more than that, a few it even gets ugly. You should know that upping the intensity of your relationship by sleeping with her won’t do anything but make it worse. But, smart or not, you are young, your hormones make you thrum and you don’t want to sleep with somebody you don’t care about. She seems like a good choice, like a logical choice. She agrees, almost business-like because this has always been an (unspoken) possibility between the two of you, and says she wants it to be nice and friendly but uncomplicated and uncompromised. You can do that. Fidelity is not half as important to you as to be allowed to be alone as often as you want.

You imagine you are safe because you have known her for so long without falling for her and sex has never made you fall for anybody before. This will turn out to be an extremely badly resolved math problem since you will forget to add both factors. You will keep it quiet, won’t really mind not talking about it, you might be a girl and you might love to talk but you hate embarrassing situations. But soon you will discover you mind something else, the power she will have over you and you won’t have back over her. You will be scared, not all the time, but sometimes it’ll seem as if she will say something cruel and you’ll shy away, shut up, stop fighting back. She’s self-involved enough that she won’t notice at first but eventually you’ll have to shout that it’s ok, whatever she says to get her to stop ranting about your fallacious arguments and how you call her too much. She will look at you like she doesn’t know you and you’ll get defensive because she won’t know. And then you will admit - “I think I have gotten too… complicated”. She won’t say it back but you will be able to tell she’s being careful, in her own fashion. And then you’ll get tired of being scared or scared enough to panic and fight back and things will go back to normal. Normal will hurt a lot more then.

It will take you a long time to realise the ugly fights are multiplying, and then you will want to keep trying, giving up is not for you and you will love her, it’s just often you will hate her as well. The good moments, though, are bright. Maybe even brighter because of the ones that came before, like a trail to a time when you were happy or will think you were happy because then you will not be.

It will take you even longer to realise the good moments are almost always related to sex and not any other aspect of your relationship. Even later, when you will manage to accept sex is all there’s left you will imagine that your history together can somehow help you bring you back together. You will insist, futilely, that you can go back in time. You will cling to nostalgia and she will let you, even as she sleeps with other people because you are not in a relationship and because even she will be tired of the fights and the screaming and the pain where there used to be a friend who could stand up to her with only the finest, purest, more rational and less biased of arguments.

She won’t be sure if she ever loved you back, like you loved her, but she will miss the person you are now, her friend, a woman as strong as she is. So very like her that it both scared and amazed her. By then, you won’t be so alike, shaped by the failure of what’s become, despite your plans and false safeties, the central relationship in your lives and by life in general. She will be too weary for time travel, she will ready to give up, to move on.

You will be living together by some pseudo roommate arrangement you made up just so you could wake up by her side and she went along with for reasons you will still be unsure about. And she will tell you she’s moving out and you will have just enough strength to put up one last fight, and you will lose. Because you have already lost, right now. Not because of fate but because of who you are and who she is and the basic logic you both love so dearly that you imagine it can make it work.


So…yeah, I have been reading too much Fraser/Kowalski and McKay/Sheppard, i.e. best-friends turned lovers fic.

Edit: 26.02.11. Corrected some minor mistakes.
evalangui: (perversion no es lo que tengo)
Ok, I’m tired of real life. So I’m telling you all about fandom. But first, did you know the Greeks were writing gay science fiction with mpreg? I had heard they had invented everything but I thought we still had a few twists to go at least, obviously not.
Read more... )

Ok, I’m going back to read about non-fandomish doctor transvestites because I got a review to write for my Feminist literary theory class, which rocks (which might be the only part of real life that does at all, at that). Hope you are all well, if unresponsive.

If your real life is the one you are awake for, the one you wake for.

If it's the one you smile because of, if real is what makes your heart beat fast

And if love is what makes you cry and laugh and sacrifice movement, sleep and food

Then I know my real life is here, in the many lives others live

And argue what you may, their lives are as real as it gets
evalangui: (books)
It almost never happens, that you reach for something you really want and it’s there, for the taking. Happy to be taken. It’s much more common to reach and find out it’s not there, or that it isn’t what you thought it was, or that it’s there but doesn’t want you to reach for it or…any other possibility that means you can’t have it. And people live with this, they have to. And they become afraid of getting their hopes up because they have been disappointed so often or not but just know that statistically speaking it’s so much more likely that they will be unhappy than happy. That they will reach and not get.
And they deal... )
evalangui: (Default)

Parallelisms between Chauvinism, Colonialism and class discrimination in "The Joys of Motherhood" and "Untouchable"

by Johanna Rullo

 

The "Joys of Motherhood" by Buchi Emecheta tells a story in which the white man, the colonialist, it's the outsider to a perfectly established society and whose intervention only harms this society's members, makes them lose their places in life, their sense of belonging. This is the most obvious effect of colonialism in the colonized society, the replacement of local ideas and beliefs with those of the colonizer. In "My place", "The Lonely Londoners" and "Toronto at Dreamer's Rock" instead, we have people who have adopted (or been forced to adopt) the colonialist's culture and remember their own only in part, and in the latter as “mystic stuff” to be disregarded as unimportant, they are on the another stage of colonization, they have already been absorbed and crave to be absorbed more completely to forget they are not really part of the colonizing society or to recover their sense of selves through the addition of their ancestors’ culture to the society who took away that culture in the first place so as to reconcile who they are and where they come from.

The The Whale Rider, where tradition is held in high esteem and is very important for the protagonists’ daily lives, is not as much a story about colonialism as one about chauvinism, which might or might not be related to colonialism and Western ideas in that case but that has proven to exist in most human societies.

Read more... )
evalangui: (Default)
Dear Mother:

It's warm over here, but you already knew, I always talked about living in an eternal summer, you said it sounded like a ballet so I thought you liked the idea too. It must be cool back home, always home, even after so long I still feel it is, the place where you and dad are, where I grew up. How could it be any other way?

I heard from Monica the other day, she says she had a good time in Puerto Rico and promised to show me photos from the honeymoon. I know you are happy for her but I saw the way you were looking at me in the wedding... I didn't look very good in that dress, did I?

Mother, I know how you feel about me, how I have always chosen a different path when I had the opportunities you always wanted for yourself. I know that I had a lot of potential as a dancer and that I choose to be a normal person and lead a normal school life where crushes and assignments were what my life turned around. I know I could have been great in a stage, that I was a chosen one and gave up something a lot of people would kill for. But that was not my path, dancing has always been pleasurable for me, always make me feel confident and reassured me that I would be somebody one day. But it has never made me feel so alive I almost can't breath, or like I would burst with happiness. I'm not you, Mother, I love you and admire you and even if life was adverse and you never were upon the Opera of Vienna's stage or danced with Baryshnikov as that teacher promised you would I still feel honoured to have seen you dance and to have learned from you.

It's lucky I don't wish to marry, isn't it? You always say I don't need to marry but to get a boyfriend anyway, the thing is...there's no one. I have friends, lots of them, you can stand some of them, like Tracy. Do you remember her? A pretty red-head? but nobody makes me feel like that. I have wondered for a long time what was wrong with me but... I just want you to know how much I love you, and dad, and Monica too. And that I'm happy with my job and my life and even if you never get to see me in white I feel complete.

Don't worry about descendants, either, I needn't do a thing by the way the newlyweds were carrying on at the party.

Love,
Your daughter,
Sally.



Edited: 28.05.2010
evalangui: (Default)
Don't know what overcome me but I wrote a Harry Potter Fanfic, and a Genfic at that, which is pretty out of character for someone whose characters keep falling for each other no matter their sexes or their busy schedules doing important stuff like, you know, saving the world... Anyway, I will re-read it a few times and then post in some community or another, but I felt the need to post in RIGHT NOW here for my own and only satisfaction.

EDITED: I was just checking it, as it happens it's size has doubled.
EDITED AGAIN: After being betated. 3rd EDIT: May 2008, wow, and did it need a edit!



evalangui: (Default)
A Way To Say Goodbye
Death is not something anybody is ready for, not something Christina is ready for, twenty-three hasn't been not enough time. She doesn't have anything, only dreams, and now it's the moment to make them come true. 1141 words.

 


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