evalangui: (books)
El 20 Sharon cumplió 13 y como no pude estar le mandé un dibujo y un poema (y una pluma pero nadie la mencionó porque el poema desencadenó rios de lagrimas). Mi vieja insistió en que tenía que publicarlo, a pesar de que la verdad no me parece que tenga sentido si no sos parte de mi familia, y después Verena lo quería leer y yo lo quería presumir así que lo tradujé, estoy muy descontenta con la traducción porque es una traducción de un poema que escribí yo. En fin, el retrato ya lo vieron pero como recordatorio.

Nadie sonríe como vos... )

-----------------English version )
evalangui: (perversion no es lo que tengo)
Ok, I’m tired of real life. So I’m telling you all about fandom. But first, did you know the Greeks were writing gay science fiction with mpreg? I had heard they had invented everything but I thought we still had a few twists to go at least, obviously not.
Read more... )

Ok, I’m going back to read about non-fandomish doctor transvestites because I got a review to write for my Feminist literary theory class, which rocks (which might be the only part of real life that does at all, at that). Hope you are all well, if unresponsive.

If your real life is the one you are awake for, the one you wake for.

If it's the one you smile because of, if real is what makes your heart beat fast

And if love is what makes you cry and laugh and sacrifice movement, sleep and food

Then I know my real life is here, in the many lives others live

And argue what you may, their lives are as real as it gets
evalangui: (books)
It has been brought to my attention that I never posted a conclusion to the Buenos Aires trip (Thanks, Ana) and now, in English because I’m Manchester and Laila has always felt too special to read my journal anyway, I will try.

Buenos Aires was everything I expected, and not

Everything I remembered, but not

My old house was bigger, my old neighbourhood more decaying

My grandparents were older, more themselves and for the first time clearly at risk of being no more

My cousins were strangers whose faces sometimes did not even fit and who could not trust me

but who, sometimes, did TRY to trust me and recover what had been lost and what had never been

Buenos Aires wanted to make me hers but I didn’t quite (fit), not any longer fourteen, or so Jewish, or so purely Bonaerense, or so innocent as to believe her perfect

Buenos Aires feels like someone I once fell in love with, someone who believes that, deep down, I never stop loving her

And there were the people I most mourned leaving behind (Lai, Eli) and some people I could not really remember why I liked but I ended up liking even more (Yami, Tami) and new people I would like to get to know some more (Cari, Rodrigo).

It was worth it, Ana, it was also stressful and painful at times, but it was SO worth it.

Also, somehow or other I acquired many things I love: clothes, make up (hey, it was free!), books, jewels (my bobe, but at least I got to change the 15-nail-sized hearts for a regular silver chain) and, of course, sweets aplenty. *shows pictures*

Fotos & más detalles )
My paternal grandmother, Blanca, has been slowly getting worse, health-wise, she's almost ninety now and she's always dotted on me but we have never been close, being too different age and personality wise (she's such a peacemaker). I do love her, with the love of distant things, but I have always expected to lose her and I feel more affected by others pain than by my own, to the point I don't know if my own does exist at all. I remember a friend telling me she felt guilty for not feeling badly about a similar situation but I refuse to, blood is no thicker than water and although my grandmother has always been nice to me we never quite managed to connect. I'm glad she got to see us one last time more than I'm glad I got to see her. Now again,I have never been any good at being sad and even before she started feeling especially badly physically speaking there was nothing very happy about her at all. And still, if I think about it, she is my favourite grandparent.

Cousin ranking has also changed radically: Miranda and Rodrigo are at the top, where Rocio used to be. I didn’t get to talk much to some of them, time limits, etc. But, you know, as far as I can tell :p

This post is all over the place, I am a bit myself, it might not seem to fit me but I'm quite fond of the reliability of routine and this summer has been fun but hard.


evalangui: (Default)

January 2012

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